The Secret · American Version

Illustration: DAEMON RUNYON — Plate, American edition Zoom Full-size scan

DAEMON RUNYON

Septem adeste undecim

RANGE From the two dollar Show window at an off-the-beaten track to the Chicago Commodities Exchange; from the jai alai frontons of Miami to the dog tracks of Tuscon; from jumping contests of celebrated frogs to the Sacred Heart basement bingo game around the corner; from the cock fights of El Barrio to the free floating crap games of the nation’s Holiday Inns— wherever the urge to push your luck burns a hole in your soul, you will surely find the Daemon Runyon: the low rollers’ companion and archenemy of Lady Luck.

HABITS He draws your attention to a surething long shot in the Racing Form—where he has previously inserted a typo. He whispers random numbers in a card counter’s ear. He helps you draw to an inside straight if anyone else is holding a flush. He is small enough to ride a tossed coin and stand it on end and tall enough to slam dunk home the shot that helps the Lakers beat the spread . . . and you. He’ll steer you to a sucker the morning after he’s blown his roll. He lets you win from welshers and makes you loose to Mafia dons. He’s the one-armed bandit who trips the filly in the home stretch, slides your chip off the double zero just before it hits, tips the heat to your bookie’s address before you can collect, and drowns you in the office pool.

HISTORY The Daemon is a descendant of the Fadas, those glittering creatures native to the French Riviera. His motive for immigrating remains obscure (for Europeans are as easily tempted as Americans to punt the patrimony on a long shot), but come he did, to work his scams and cons from the beaches of New Jersey to the Sands of Vegas. His first recorded act in the New World was to greet Columbus and tout him it was seven-to-five he had hit the Indies. He later gave Custer the same odds against the Sioux. With his parimutuel friends, Jack O’Diamonds, “Auntie” Up, “Three Card” Monty and “Old Snake Eyes,” he caused havoc on the river boats of the old Mississippi. Daemon’s biggest sting was in 1929, when he called all the bluffs, broke the bank, and left Uncle Sammy sitting at the table in his red, white, and blue underwear. SPOTTER’S

TIPS The Daemon Runyon can be seen riding a cab to the track, and the bus back. He sits on the shoulder of a fat man weeping in an all-night coffee shop. He smells of cheap cigar smoke and bar rye. He sounds like the slap of a flush-busting card on green felt. He tastes like finger nails. He feels like the simultaneous breaking of your heart, your bank account, and your leg.

Two editions, one page

The American and Japanese printings side by side. Click either page to zoom in.

Japanese edition page: DAEMON RUNYON — 日本語版 · Japanese edition

日本語版の本文

The Gambling Sprite · Deamon Runyon

The Japanese text with an English back-translation.

Japanese text

棲息地競馬競輪, オート,ボートなどの公営ギャンブル場。それに入墨をした人たちが経営している, 私営のバクチ場。ほかには会社帰りのサラリーマンが寄る雀荘, 飲み屋の奥にあるテレビ・ゲーム機。人間が汗水流さずに大金を手に入れたいと思うところならどこにでも棲みついている。しかしこの妖精たちはかなりのひねくれ者で, なかなかこちらのいうとおりには動いてくれない。ここ一発と勝負したときには、スルリと身をかわして逃げてしまい,どうでもいいときにはにこにこしながらやってくる。最近、この妖精たちの研究も進み, 「ギャンブル必勝法」とか「こうすれば勝てる・競馬」などという研究書も数多く発表されているが,いまだ決定版というのはないのが実情である。

習性人間の期待を裏切って楽しんでいる。だったら期待していないほうに賭ければいいかというと,それもだめ。そういうときは,最初に期待したほうに出目をだす。意地が悪いのだ。期待しても裏切られ, 期待しなくても裏切られる。なぜなら、いくら期待していないふりをしても、心のどこかでかならずわずかでも期待しているのが人間妖精たちは、おだからである。見とおしなのだ。人間とは弱い動物であることをしかし、この妖精たちに勝つそれは方法がひとつだけある。ギャンブルをやらないことだ。彼らの誘惑にあなたが勝つことができたら, 彼らはあなたに「幸ができたら、彼らはあなたに「幸福な家庭」という代金を払ってくれるだろう。

歴史旧約聖書のなか、アベルとカインの兄弟たちから生まれた。じつは,この兄弟たちは,チンチロリンが原因で喧嘩をはじめ, 殺しあったのである。現在はっきりしているのは,プラトン周期でいう紀元前4000年から2000年のあいだにはじまり, 発展したというが,これも100パーセントの確率とはいえない。

私立探偵の情報ギャンブルの妖精たちは,競馬場へ向かうタクシー, 競馬場から帰るバスのなかにいる。あるいは深夜酒場の片すみで泣いている男の肩にとまっていることもある。しかし、この妖精たちを見つけるのにいちばんてっとりばやい方法は,ギャンブルをしていちばん儲けている人間のところに行けばいい。丸々とふとった妖精たちに会えるはずである。

English back-translation

Habitat Public gambling venues — horse racing, cycling, motorcycle racing, boat racing. Private gambling dens run by tattooed gentlemen. Mahjong parlors where salarymen stop on the way home. TV game machines in the back of bars. Anywhere humans want to get their hands on big money without breaking a sweat. These sprites are quite contrary by nature and rarely do what you want. When you go all-in on one decisive bet, they slip away and vanish. When you couldn’t care less, they come smiling right to you. Recently research into these sprites has advanced, and many study guides like “Guaranteed Gambling Strategies” and “How to Win at Horse Racing” have been published — but the definitive method remains elusive.

Behavior They enjoy betraying human expectations. So you might think — bet on the side you’re NOT expecting, and that’ll work, right? Wrong. In that case they produce the result you originally expected. They’re just mean. Expect something and get betrayed. Don’t expect something and still get betrayed. Because no matter how much you pretend not to care, somewhere in your heart you’re always hoping just a little — and the sprites can see right through you. Such is the weakness of the human animal. However there is exactly one way to beat these sprites. Don’t gamble. If you can resist their temptation, they will pay you in the currency of “a happy home.” History Born from the brothers Abel and Cain in the Old Testament. In truth, these brothers started their quarrel — and killed each other — over a game of dice. What is currently known is that gambling began and developed somewhere between 4000 and 2000 BC in the Platonic cycle — though even that cannot be stated with 100% certainty.

Field Intelligence The gambling sprites can be found in taxis heading to the racetrack and buses returning from it. Or perched on the shoulder of a man weeping alone in the corner of a late-night bar. But the quickest way to find them is to go to whoever is winning the most at gambling. You should find the sprites there — plump and well-fed.

DAEMON RUNYON

Two editions, one page

日本語版の本文

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