RANGE: The Joke Fiend mainly works men’s clubs and variety shows, occasionally opens for rock acts, but is often to be found in bars, restaurants, and living rooms; wherever more than one or two are gathered together to tell funny stories (or “cute ones” as they are often called), the Joke Fiend performs his malevolent schtick. HABITS: The Joke Fiend literally possesses its poor victim, amateur and professional alike, and makes him tell jokes. The creature is particularly remarkable for its lack of a sense of humor, as should be obvious from its name. Its idea of a “hot one” is to coax the social misfit to tell a joke completely inappropriate to the company: Ikey and Izzy jokes at bar mitzvahs, Rastus and Mandy jokes at Urban League cocktail parties, Pat and Mike stories at the Police Brotherhood meetings, and jokes with any sex at all in them to Ms. magazine editors. HISTORY: When asked by noted comedian Henny Youngman to explain its origins, the Joke Fiend (for once) refused to speak—invoking, we are to suppose, a gag rule. The Joke Fiend is believed to have been first sighted in America by Washington Irving during a trip to the Catskill Mountains in 1838. Mr. Irving was researching his Rip Van Winkle. The Joke Fiend was playing the Lounge. SPOTTER’S TIPS: Wherever squirt flowers, light-up bow ties, hand buzzers, whoopee cushions, dribble glasses or Shriners’ conventions can be found, there also is the Joke Fiend. *J. F., corny as Kansas, visits Henny Youngman for good material.
棲息地 人の集まるところなら
どこでもいる。 とくにパーティ
会場などに多くいる。この妖精
にとりつかれると、 どんなにお
もしろいジョークでも一瞬にし
て会場をしらけさせてしまう。
あとはもう額に脂汗を浮かべ
て, なにを話しているのか、つ
ぎになにをいっていいのか忘れ
てしまい, ただオドオドするば
かりだ。
習性 演説巧者にとりつきやす
い。 またとくに気の弱い人に
も。
この妖精は不思議な力でジョ
ークのおちを消してしまうの
だ。おちのないジョークほどつ
まらないものはない。 本人は恥
をかくし, 聞いているほうはい
らいらする。 とくにサラリーマ
ンなどにとって自分の結婚式に
上司を招いてスピーチを依頼し
た場合に多発する。 「えー, 本
日はお日がらもよく」なんて上
司が場なれたふうにスピーチを
はじめたまではよかったが,あ
いだにはさむ冗談が少しもおも
しろくない。 上司は話をかたく
るしくしないようにと、 何日も
まえから「スピーチのじょうず
な話し方」 なんて本を読んでせ
っかく憶えてきたのに誰も笑わ
ないのである。
まあ、いいだろう。 本人もちょ
っと緊張していて話をうまくも
っていけないのだ。
二番目のジョークでもだれも
笑ってくれない。 そこで上司は
考える。 ちょっとむずかしすぎ
たかな。
三番目,四番目, 五番目のジ
ョークでも笑わない。 上司はあ
せってくる。こうなったらもう
必死になんとか笑わそうと考え
る。 スピーチなんかそっちのけ
で,知っているかぎりの笑い話
をならべはじめる。 しかしどれ
もこれも受けない。
上司のからだがこきざみに震
えはじめ,顔面は紅潮し,部下
である新郎を憎しみのまなこで
にらみつける。
「よくもおれに恥をかかせてく
れたな。この責任はかならずと
ってもらうぞ!」 そう無言で語
最初のジョークが受けない。
120
っている。
しかし、上司ににらまれて
も, 新郎にはどうしようもない。
おもしろくもない話に率先して
笑っても、ほかにだれも笑う者
がいなければ、ばか笑いになる
し、かえって上司のきげんを悪
くするばかりだ。
こうして、冷や汗をかきっぱ
なしの結婚式はどうにか終って
も、新婚旅行はけっして楽しい
ものにはならない。
旅行が終わって会社に出る
と, さっそくその上司に呼ばれ,
「きみ, ○○地方の支社に行っ
なんていわれる
てくれたまえ」
のがおちだ。 これがいちばんき
ついジョークなのだ。
歴史 くわしくはわからない
が, 16~17世紀のフランスの宮
廷で生まれたといわれる。
私立探偵の情報 部下の結婚式
に出たがる上司のいる会社なら
どこにでもいる。
121
Habitat
Anywhere people gather — especially party venues. Once possessed by this sprite, even the most genuinely funny joke instantly kills the room. What follows is cold sweat beading on the forehead, forgetting what you were saying or what to say next, and nothing but nervous fidgeting.
Behavior
Particularly drawn to accomplished public speakers. Also to people with weak nerves.
This sprite uses a mysterious power to erase the punchline from jokes. Nothing is more tedious than a joke without a punchline. The teller suffers humiliation; the listeners get irritated.
This occurs particularly often for salarymen who invite their boss to give a speech at their wedding. “Well now, what a splendid day it is today…” — the boss begins in what sounds like a practiced manner, which was fine, but the jokes he inserts along the way aren’t funny in the slightest. The boss had read “How to Give a Great Speech” for days beforehand, memorizing material specifically to keep things from getting stiff — and yet nobody laughs.
Well, fine. He’s a little nervous and can’t quite find his rhythm.
Nobody laughs at the second joke either. The boss thinks: maybe it was a bit too sophisticated.
Third joke. Fourth. Fifth. Still nothing. The boss starts to panic. Now he’s desperately trying by any means to get a laugh. Abandoning the speech entirely, he starts running through every funny story he knows. But none of them land.
The boss begins trembling imperceptibly. His face flushes crimson. He fixes the groom — his subordinate — with a look of pure hatred.
“How dare you embarrass me like this. I will make you pay for this.” His eyes say it all without words.
But being glared at by the boss, there’s nothing the groom can do. If he leads the laughter at jokes that aren’t funny and nobody else follows, it just looks like idiotic sycophancy — and only puts the boss in a worse mood.
The wedding ends in a continuous cold sweat, and the honeymoon is inevitably not a happy one.
When the groom returns to the office, he’s immediately summoned by that boss: “I’d like you to transfer to our branch office in [remote region].”
That’s the punchline. And it’s the cruellest joke of all.
History
Details are unclear, but it’s said to have originated in the French royal court of the 16th-17th centuries.
Field Intelligence
Found in any company where bosses want to attend subordinates’ weddings.
120-121
