RANGE: These tiny terrors are actually “changelings”—wicked creatures which the fairies swap for human babies. Screaming Mimis infest public places: churches, fine restaurants, and the occasional concert. Their earpiercing shrieks are inevitable on any public means of transportation, as well —trains, buses, planes, and (especially) elevators. Although hideously audible and appallingly visible to strangers, the Screaming Mimi appears to members of its own family as a sweet chirping cherub. HABITS: It is a curious paradox that while the birthrate of American infants declines, the Screaming Mimi population is booming. Perhaps this is because the minuscule monsters are most commonly seen and heard by the “child-free.” The more child-free adults there are around, the more the Screaming Mimi will be seen—and feared. The Screaming Mimi’s full throated howls of outrage, boredom and frustration are especially upsetting when they occur, as they most often do, in outrageously boring and frustrating situations. (See “Range,” above). For shamelessly expressing what the rest of us actually feel, Mimi draws a lot of dirty looks. To all but its mother, the most horrible aspect of the Screaming Mimi’s behavior is its vampire-like quality. Believe it or not, those haunting, unearthly, nocturnal wails signify the creature’s desire to fasten its mouth upon the breast of a mortal woman and extract the life-giving fluids! HISTORY: This fiend-in-infant-form first appeared in the cradles of Olde England. This may account for the Anglo-Saxons’ preference for the companionship of dogs and their habit of belaboring the buttocks off their offspring with flails, canes, and stout oak cudgels. To the thatch-brained serfs of Britain, the Screaming Mimi was known as a “Changeling.” In America, it is often diagnosed as hyperactive. Numerous Screaming Mimis yowling in the homespun cribs of the thirteen original colonies inspired Daniel Boone, Lewis and Clark, and other pioneer patriarchs to explore the West. Anything to get out of the house. SPOTTER’S TIPS: In addition to its characteristic noise, a certain odor is often an indication of the Screaming Mimi’s presence. It’s a sort of ammonialike aroma, alone or accompanied by a dark, heavy sulphurous scent not unlike that of English cooking. This Screaming Mimi needs Changeling. Mother wishes the stork would take her back.
棲息地 この小さな困り者は,
ほんとうに妖精たちがかわいい
赤ん坊にとりついた姿なのだ。
天使の叫びの妖精は、公共の場
所を選んでわざと出没する。 た
とえば教会, 高級レストラン,
コンサート会場で演奏中などに
だ。 また一般の交通機関, バス
や電車のなかでもあたりかまわ
ず出没する。
耳をつんざくような泣き声,
火のついたように泣く赤ん坊,
こんなことを公衆の面前でやら
れたら若いお母さんなら一発で
ノイローゼになってしまい、わ
が子の首を絞めたくなっても当
然だ。
たとえば映画館で急に赤ん坊
が泣きだす。 あやしても泣きや
まない。 しかたなく赤ん坊を抱
いたまま席を立ち、ロビーに出
て赤ん坊を寝かしつける。 20分
後、 赤ん坊がようやく寝たので
そっと静かに席に戻る。 しかし
席にすわったとたん、 また赤ん
坊が泣きだす。 若い母親はまた
席を立って, ロビーに行く。寝
つく、席に戻る。 また泣きだす。
またロビーに出る。もう映画を
楽しむどころの騒ぎではない。
いや、そればかりかほかの観客
たちからいっせいに非難の目を
向けられる。
「うるさい赤ん坊だ, 殺してし
まえ」 そう口に出していいたい
のは顔でわかる。
ところがどっこい、母親にと
っては憎らしくてもわが子だ。
周囲の迷惑はわかっていても,
やはり彼女にとってはかわいい
天使の泣き声なのである (赤ん
坊の泣きやむ薬ってないのかし
ら。もちろん他人の赤ん坊に飲
ませるのだけど)。
習性 とつぜん, 意味もなく大
声で泣きだす。 あたりかまわず
ではなく、 まわりを意識して
だ。
だから少数の人間のいる場所
おおぜいの人が
では泣かない。
集まっているところでやる。
また, 自意識が強い。 母親は
いくら泣いても叱らず、絶対に
敵側にならないことを知ってい
る。 とくによく泣く場所は、子
どものいない人がたくさん集ま
っている場所だ。
歴史 この赤ん坊の姿をした妖
精が最初に出現したのはイギリ
スのゆりかごのなかだった。 あ
まりにもその泣き声が強烈で,
うるさかったので, 男たちはイ
ギリスを脱出してアメリカに渡
った。 それが西部開拓時代の始
まりである。
私立探偵の情報 おしっことミ
ルクの臭いのするところならど
こにでもいる。
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Habitat
This little troublemaker is literally a fairy that has possessed a cute baby. The screaming angel sprite deliberately chooses public places to appear — churches, high-end restaurants, concert halls mid-performance. It also turns up without warning on public transport, buses and trains alike.
Ear-splitting wails, a baby crying as though on fire — subjected to this in front of the general public, it would be perfectly natural for a young mother to develop a nervous breakdown and feel like strangling her own child.
For instance: a baby suddenly starts crying in a cinema. Soothing doesn’t stop it. With no other option, the mother picks up the baby, leaves her seat, and goes to the lobby to get it to sleep. Twenty minutes later the baby finally dozes off, so she quietly slips back to her seat. But the moment she sits down, the baby starts crying again. The young mother gets up again and goes back to the lobby. Baby falls asleep, she returns to her seat. Baby starts crying again. Back to the lobby. Any chance of enjoying the film is long gone. Worse, the other audience members are directing unanimous looks of accusation at her.
“That noisy baby — someone kill it.” You can tell from their faces that’s exactly what they want to say out loud.
And yet — however maddening, it’s still her child. She understands she’s causing inconvenience to everyone around her, but to her it remains the cry of her adorable little angel. (Isn’t there some medicine to stop babies crying? For other people’s babies, obviously.)
Behavior
Suddenly bursts into loud crying for no reason — not indiscriminately, but with full awareness of the surroundings.
So it never cries in places with few people. It performs where large crowds have gathered.
It also has a strong self-consciousness — it knows the mother will never scold it no matter how much it cries, and will never take the other side. It cries most reliably in places packed with people who have no children of their own.
History
This sprite in baby form first appeared in English cradles. Its crying was so intense and so unbearable that men fled England and crossed to America. That was the beginning of the era of westward expansion.
Field Intelligence
Found anywhere that smells of milk and urine.
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