RANGE: Shimmering across the skies. Singing down the wires. Bouncing off satellites. Beneath the seas, where the weed-draped cables drift. Binding the global village in a seamless silver web. Flashing through microcircuits to light up the switchboards of industry like impossible Christmas trees. But most of all, IN YOUR EAR! HABITS: It is the deepest, darkest desire of these glittering, ringing, humming, and flickering spirits to imbue every piece of hardware with a personality and to reduce humankind to the condition of machines. When your voice has been converted to a droning code of impersonal beeps and your refrigerator talks back to you, there is much merriment along the Tinkers’ Bell System. How they click and twinkle with wicked glee to see a human standing at a pay phone in the pouring rain, calling for the weather! How it makes them glitter and buzz for joy to behold humans dialing a joke, a date, a steak, a prayer, while a burnt-out terminal case with a headset somewhere squats over a black box full of buttons with the Apocalypse on HOLD! Their most cunning technological doomsday device is the increasingly ubiquitous Telephone Answering Machine which, in a state of prerecordercall-orwarding-impulse-activated direct-distance-connection with another Answering Machine, delightfully prefigures the future of all human intercourse. HISTORY: From the moment the first, coquettish Tinkerbelle whispered, “Come here, I need you” into Mr. Watson’s ear, these minuscule menaces have been laboring toward their goal—every man, woman and child hooked up, plugged in, and switched on, along an instantaneous globe-encompassing communications network—and not a soul among them with anything to say! Tinkerbelles are now active in every country in the world. Many nations can be reached by one of their favorite innovations: direct dialing. If you can remember a thirty-nine-digit number sequence, you can greatly simplify international communications (you must remember that a sound like a monkey’s death cry is a French busy signal and a deep fat fryer noise means a phone is ringing in Portugal). SPOTTER’S TIPS: Ominous click-ings on the line. Ringing that starts when your key hits the lock and stops the moment you complete your breathless obstacle course run to the receiver. Heavy breathers. Threats and obscenities on your answering machine from long dead enemies. The refusal to accept collect calls by your nearest and dearest. All these are signals that the Tinkers’ Bell System has your number.
棲息地 空を横切る電話線のか
すかなきらめきのなかや, 海草
の巻きついたケーブルのただよ
う海底, 電話の受話器に静かに
ひびく歌声のなかなどに棲息し
ている。 しかしほかのどんなと
ころよりも、この妖精がたくさ
ん住んでいるのは、 あなたの耳
のなかだ。
習性 キラキラきらめき, 鈴の
ように鳴りひびき, ハミングを
し チカチカ点滅するこの妖
精の最大の願いは, すべての機
械設備に人格をあたえ、 反対に
人類を機械の状態にまでひきさ
げてしまうことだ。 あなたの声
が非人間的で単調なブンブンと
いう信号音に切りかえられ、冷
蔵庫が口答えするようになると
き, ケーブルの精たちはうれし
そうな笑いの渦につつまれる。
どしゃぶりの雨のなかで,人
が公衆電話で天気予報をきいて
いる姿を見るとき,この妖精た
ちはどんなに大よろこびしてい
ることか!!
人びとが冗談をいうためやデ
ートの約束を取り決める, ある
いはビフテキを注文したり祈り
をささげるために電話のダイヤ
ルをまわしているのをながめる
とき, 妖精たちはよろこびのた
めにきらめき, ブンブンとざわ
めきあっている。
216
歴史 初代のチャーミングなケ
ーブルの精が、 電話を発明した
ベルの助手のワトソン氏の耳に
「こっちへきて、 たのみがある
の」とささやいた瞬間から、こ
のちいさな脅迫者たちは自分た
ちの目的に向かって努力をつづ
けてきた。 男も女も子どもも,
すべての人が電話器をとりつ
プラグを差しこみ, スイッ
け,
チを入れ, 世界じゅうを同時に
結ぶコミュニケーションのネッ
トワークに参加していった。 し
かし、その人たちのなかで,必
要な話をしているのは,誰ひと
りとしていないのだ!!
ケーブルの精たちは,いまや
世界のあらゆる場所で活躍して
いる。 彼女たちのお気にいりの
最新装置—直通ダイヤル通話
によって,多くの国が結ばれて
いるのだ。
私立探偵の情報 カチッという
電話器の不吉な音。 鍵穴に鍵を
差しこんだとたんに鳴りはじ
め,息せききってやっとのこと
で受話器にたどりついた瞬間に
切れる電話。たいした骨折り仕
事だ。 留守番電話にのこされた
脅し文句や卑猥なことば。もっ
とも愛する人によって拒否され
たコレクトコール。 すべて,あ
なたの電話番号がケーブルの精
に登録されている証拠だ。
Habitat
They live in the faint glimmer of telephone wires crossing the sky, in cables drifting along the seabed wrapped in seaweed, and in the quiet singing that resonates through a telephone receiver. But more than anywhere else, the greatest concentration of these sprites lives inside your ears.
Behavior
Sparkling, tinkling like bells, humming, and flickering — their greatest wish is to grant personality to all machinery, while simultaneously reducing humanity to a mechanical state. When your voice is converted into an inhuman, monotone buzzing signal, and the refrigerator starts talking back, the cable sprites dissolve into gleeful laughter.
And oh, how delighted they must be when they see someone standing in a torrential downpour, using a payphone to check the weather forecast!!
When people dial the phone to crack jokes, arrange dates, order steaks, or say their prayers — the sprites shimmer and buzz with joy among themselves.
History
From the moment the first charming cable sprite whispered into the ear of Watson — assistant to Bell, inventor of the telephone — “Come here, I need you”, these little manipulators have been working steadily toward their goal. Men, women, and children all installed telephones, plugged them in, switched them on, and joined a communications network connecting the entire world simultaneously. And yet not a single one of them is saying anything necessary!!
The cable sprites are now active everywhere in the world. Their favorite latest gadget — direct dial calling — now links country after country.
Field Intelligence
That ominous click on the phone line. The call that starts ringing the moment you put your key in the lock, and cuts off the instant you breathlessly grab the receiver. What a workout. Threatening messages and obscene words left on answering machines. A collect call rejected by the person you love most. All of it — proof that your phone number has been registered with the cable sprites.
The payphone in the photo is in Chinatown, NY. Near Mott st.