RANGE: Once upon a time, these physical phitness phiends plagued only the (otherwise idle) rich. Their exclusive haunts were then-restricted Athletic Clubs, the gymnasiums of well-endowed universities, and elite health spas; so it was commonly believed that the creatures’ earthly mission was to tempt and taunt the inbred and overfed into working up the only honest sweats of their lives. Lately, however, members of the middle class, and even people with jobs, have begun to break out in sneakers and head bands and can be seen staggering and hyperventilating through the dawn-lit streets, the whole world their treadmill, jowls flushed, eyes blank, obviously bewitched and utterly in the power of some sinister supernatural force—the Sweatsylphs. HABITS: Sweatsylphs feed on human ergs, units of energy released by burning calories. (Among their favorite meals are scrambled ergs, ergs benedict, and erg rolls.) As their miserable mortal victims trot, bend, squat, run, jump, clean and jerk, dive and paddle, haul and crawl in order to grow slim, Sweatsylphs hover above them, chuckling and growing ever more plump and happy. Sweatsylphs discourage our interest in team sports—after all, fullbacks and outfielders sometimes get a chance to stand around, enjoying themselves — and encourage us to go “one on one,” in games where personal shame and hostility drive us to heights of excessive activity—or, better yet, to “compete only with ourselves,” in ligament-straining, lung-busting, mindless orgies of exhibitionistic exertion. To the Sweatsylph, the only sight sweeter than a squash raquet is a running track a sixteenth of a mile in circumference. HISTORY: Sweatsylphs are Greek and, like all Greek Sylphs, were notoriously sylphish about their sylph-improvement programs. The first of them were nourished by the smoke of the earliest Olympic flame and by the acrid fumes arising from the field below, where oiled and naked youths struggled to heave a pie plate for distance while barbarians were breaking down the gates. In America mortals tended to avoid physical exercise, exertion, or activity of any kind—hence the popularity of the industrial revolution, spectator sports, televised spectator sports, and then the epidemic of video games. Things were looking bad for the sweat-starved Sweatsylphs. But a desperate public relations campaign, waged with the help of their fellow wicked sprites, the West Ghost and Elf Alpha, has convinced us all that we will be flabby and unloved unless we start running twenty miles a day, fueled only by turnip juice and our mantra. So we run and grow thinner and grimmer, and the Sweatsylphs are fat and sassy again. SPOTTER’S TIPS: Look for a Sweatsylph where a yacht owner buys a rowing machine or drives five hundred miles in search of the perfect jogging suit, and when the funeral of a tennis court cardiac-arrest victim is attended by plump survivors, all bravely fighting back their smiles.
棲息地 この妖精は通称エアロ
ビクス・マニアックと呼ばれ,
若い女性たちのレオタードのな
かに棲む。 かつては金持ちの健
康管理のへたな連中しか相手に
しなかったので, 出没するのは
会員制の一流アスレティック・
クラブに限られていたが, 最近
では街のジャズダンス教室な
どにもひんぱんに現われるし、
また早朝, 人気のない通路をス
ニーカーをはいてジョギングを
している一般市民のなかにも見
ることができる。
とくに顔は美人だが, ぜい肉
のたっぷりある醜い体型の女性
に好んでとりつきやすい。
この妖精たちはいたずらが好
きで、派手なスポーツウェア
にひそかに棲みつき, それを着
ている人間をよけい醜くし、す
こしも似合わないように見せて
楽しんでいる。 明らかに派手な
ウェアが似合わないと思ったと
き,そこには邪悪な超自然的な
姿 汗の精がいるのだ。
習性 汗の精は, 人間がむだと
知りつつ懸命に運動するときに
発生するまったく意味のない熱
エネルギーが大好物で,とくに
運動後の空腹感を刺激して,食
欲を増進させる習性をもってい
る。 つまりはこの妖精にいった
んとりつかれたら, どんな運動
んとりつかれたら,どんな運動
をしてもだめで, あきらめるの
がいちばんなのである。
歴史 ギリシャ出身。 この妖精
たちの第一世代は,古代オリン
身体じゅう油
ピックの聖火と、
を塗りたくったマッチョンマ
ンたちによって育くまれた。
しかし新大陸に移住してから
は、初期のフロンティア精神の
活発な開拓時代は栄光に満ちて
いたが, 1955年ごろからは失意
と絶望のどん底時代がつづき,
ようやく最近になって人間たち
が運動することのたいせつさを
自覚しはじめたのでふたたびス
ポットライトをあびるようにな
った。 おまけに“ビタミン信奉
がぞくぞくと現われ,この
者”
妖精たちの活躍ぶりはめざまし
いものがある。 それに野菜ジ
ースだとか天然 自然食品がも
てはやされているのも、じつは
この妖精たちが行なったキャン
ペーンの成功を物語っていると
いえよう。
ユ
私立探偵の情報 自分の年齢や
体力をかえりみずに, ただ世間
の風評ばかりを気にしてむりが
たたり、テニスコートで, あ
るいはジョギングの途中で,ま
たはエアロビクス体操の教室で
心臓発作に襲われあえなくこの
世を去っていった人間たちの墓
場に行けば会うことができる。
110
Habitat
Commonly known as the Aerobics Maniac, this sprite lives inside young women’s leotards. It used to appear exclusively at members-only first-class athletic clubs — back when it only bothered wealthy people with poor health management — but recently it’s been turning up frequently at neighborhood jazz dance studios and among ordinary citizens jogging in sneakers along deserted early morning paths.
It’s particularly drawn to women who have beautiful faces but generously padded, unflattering figures.
These sprites love mischief — secretly taking up residence in flashy sportswear and delighting in making whoever wears it look even less attractive and thoroughly unsuited to it. When you think someone clearly can’t pull off their loud workout outfit — that’s where the malevolent supernatural figure, the sweat sprite, resides.
Behavior
The sweat sprite absolutely loves the completely meaningless heat energy generated when humans exercise desperately despite knowing it’s futile — and has the particular habit of stimulating post-exercise hunger, increasing appetite. In other words, once possessed by this sprite, no amount of exercise will make any difference. The best approach is simply to give up.
History
Greek in origin. The first generation of these sprites was nurtured by the Olympic flame of ancient Greece and the muscle-bound men slathered head to toe in oil.
After emigrating to the New World, they enjoyed a glorious era during the vigorous frontier pioneering spirit of the early days — but from around 1955 they fell into a period of despair and disillusionment, only recently returning to the spotlight as humans have begun to rediscover the importance of exercise. On top of that, “vitamin believers” have been appearing in droves, making these sprites’ activities all the more remarkable. The current popularity of vegetable juices and natural health foods is also testament to the success of campaigns these sprites have been running.
Field Intelligence
Go to the cemetery of people who, ignoring their age and physical condition and caring only about social reputation, pushed themselves too hard — dying of heart attacks on tennis courts, mid-jog, or in aerobics classes — and you’ll find them there.
110
The jogger photo looks like Palisade Park, just north of Santa Monica Blvd and Ocean Ave.. North of the Santa Monica Veterans Memorial. The trees, of course, have changed a lot. The fence and light posts are the same. There are two paths to accommodate Joggers and tourists.