The Secret · American Version

Illustration: THE FILTHY HOBIT — Plate, American edition Zoom Full-size scan

THE FILTHY HOBIT

Fumidus sordidus squalor

RANGE The Filthy Hobit is everywhere, but he prefers areas officially or socially designated NO SMOKING, confined spaces such as elevators and men’s rooms, all public means of transportation, hospital rooms, small restaurants, crowds, and your place.

HABITS A spark, a flash, a puff of smoke . . . the promise of pleasure, the thrill of strong desire and, afterward, a lingering presence, and a sense of unfulfillment. . . irradicable traces left behind, one lung chests, sudden losses of health, homes mysteriously burning down . . . these are the works and pomps of a most odious fairy creature. To nonsmokers, the Filthy Hobit is a nuisance, especially to nonsmokers with a white shag carpet, a sensitive pet, or the sort of allergies that might (or might not) be symptoms of severe sexual repression. Offended by the insalubrious heap of butts, the fetid breath, the stench of a Cuban cigar, the asphyxiating cloud of. a pungent pipe, and the scorch mark of the veneer, they believe themselves to be the principal victims of the Filthy Hobit. How wrong they are! The Filthy Hobit is the true bane of the (somewhat shortened) existence of his own devotees, the Smokers. It is they who, unable to locate an ashtray, must befoul their cuffs and pockets, they whose teeth and fingers turn amber in deference to his filthy ways, they who halfway through the greatest film ever produced, concert ever performed, exhibit ever staged, or love ever made, become distracted—nay obsessed—by the thought of having a cigarette. And it is the Hobit who always hides the ashtrays, who inspires his addicted legions to light the wrong end of a filter tip, and who makes matches disappear. It is he who inspires his victims to use the gas stove and burn their eyebrows off. The Hobit it is who deludes the chronic cougher into believing there is one left in his or her pack, until he or she gets home, and there isn’t, and he or she spends a sleepless night searching behind sofa cushions, foraging through the trash for a butt with a drag or two left in it. . . .

HISTORY Filthy is an indigenous American creature, known to the native tribes as To-Ba-Ko, which we might translate as Dragon, the Tragic Puff. Outraged at the Europeans’ treatment of his native friends, he has carried out a four-century-long campaign of revenge, by afflicting upon their descendants wheezes, mattress fires, withdrawal symptoms, catarrh, yellow fingers and cancer. SPOTTER’S

TIPS The desperate look in the eyes of a man patting all his pockets, or a woman turning her pock-etbook inside out. A pile of ash in the corner of a window sill—like a house-flies’ crematorium. A waste basket bursting into flame. And a hollow, bitter laugh that sounds, curiously, not unlike a coughing fit.

Two editions, one page

The American and Japanese printings side by side. Click either page to zoom in.

Japanese edition page: THE FILTHY HOBIT — 日本語版 · Japanese edition

日本語版の本文

The Anti-Smoking Sprite · The Filthy Hobit

The Japanese text, section by section, with an English back-translation.

棲息地この嫌煙権を主張する妖精たちは、最近いたるところに登場するようになっている。以前は、映画館や電車のなか、あるいはエレベーターとか冷房中のタクシーのなかなど, 禁煙の表示がある場所に限られていたけれども, 肺ガン予防のキャンペーンの効果もあってか、このごろは、レストランなどのタバコを吸わない人もたくさん集まる場所にも出没するようになり,吸っている人の隣りにいるだけで60パーセントの煙を吸っていることになるという政府機関の発表以来, すっかり市民権関の発表以来、すっかり市民権を獲得したような大きな顔をしている。レストランで食後の一服さえ楽しめない時代なのだ。愛煙家にとっては, 喫煙権というものも認めてほしいしだいである。

Habitat These anti-smoking rights sprites have been turning up everywhere lately. Previously they were limited to places with no-smoking signs — movie theaters, trains, elevators, air-conditioned taxis. But riding the wave of lung cancer prevention campaigns, they’ve now started appearing in restaurants and other places where non-smokers gather in numbers. Ever since a government agency announced that simply sitting next to a smoker means inhaling 60% of their smoke, these sprites have been strutting around as if they own the place. These days you can’t even enjoy a post-dinner cigarette in a restaurant. Smokers would very much like their smoking rights recognized too.

習性ここで一服の楽しみ, 強烈に吸いたい欲望, 緊張をほぐす一服, これらにストップをかけ、いらいらの原因をつくりだしている。この妖精たちのいいぶんは, 自分まで肺ガンに巻きこまれたくない、というものであるが, 愛煙家たち, とくにへビースモーカーたちは肺にたくさんの運動をさせていることとおなじなので,医学的にも肺が強くじょうぶになることが証だいい明されているのである。ち肺ガンだけにめくじらをたてなくても、ほかにもっとたくさんのガンがあるではないか。それに嫌煙家たちのこんな道理がとおるのなら、いつの日か、乳ガンになるからといって, 恋人や奥さんのバストを愛撫することさえ禁止されてしまうだろう。マッチを吹き消したり, タバコのフィルター側に火をつけさまだせたりなどのいたずらは,序の口のほうで、不意に襲われる心臓発作や呼吸困難, 原因不明のわが家の火事･･････これらはみんな嫌煙権の妖精たちのしわざなのである。

Behavior The sprite puts a stop to the pleasure of a quick smoke, the fierce craving, the tension-relieving puff — creating a constant source of irritation. Their argument is that they don’t want to be dragged into getting lung cancer — but smokers, especially heavy smokers, are essentially giving their lungs a great deal of exercise, and it has been medically proven that lungs become stronger and more robust as a result. Besides, why single out only lung cancer when there are so many other cancers out there? And if the non-smokers’ logic holds, then someday they’ll probably ban men from caressing their girlfriend’s or wife’s chest on the grounds it might cause breast cancer. Blowing out matches, making people light the filter end of their cigarette — these are just the milder pranks. Sudden heart attacks, breathing difficulties, mysterious house fires — all the sprites’ doing.

歴史西部開拓時代, 白人が丘のうえでおいしそうにトバコをふかしていたインディアンから取りあげ、追いはらってしまったのがことの始まりである。だから土地を追われたインディアンが、独特のまじないと呪いでもってこの妖精たちをつくりだし, 白人の家を火事にし、喉を指を黄痛めさせ,肺ガンにし,色くさせたりしているという説もある。

History It all began during the era of westward expansion, when white settlers snatched tobacco from Native Americans who were enjoying a peaceful smoke on a hilltop and drove them away. So one theory holds that the dispossessed Native Americans used their unique incantations and curses to create these sprites — setting white men’s houses on fire, making their throats hurt, giving them lung cancer, and turning their fingers yellow.

私立探偵の情報あらゆるポケットを必死になってさぐっている男の肩, ハンドバッグをヒステリックにひっくりかえしている女の胸などにいる。

Field Intelligence Found on the shoulder of a man desperately patting down every pocket, and on the chest of a woman hysterically emptying her handbag.

THE FILTHY HOBIT

Two editions, one page

日本語版の本文

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