RANGE: Infesting the ivied towers of High Mandarin academese, and cluttering the gutters of low slum argot (littered as they are with dropped g’s and h’s). From the obsolete cliches of the left, through the content-free platitudes of the center, to the terrifying buzz-word euphemisms of the right, wherever language is used to obfuscate, bore, or manipulate, the Gnome Enclature capers, coining his counterfeit phrases, circulating his inflated rhetoric, and generally debasing the value of the Word Hoarde. HABITS: The Gnome Enclature is the spirit of language. It is he who sees to it that there are sufficient synonyms so that two persons may discuss the same topic without understanding one another. He is the reason that you say “tomato” and I say, “Solanum Lyopersicum,” for he dearly loves an obscure synonym, and inspires ostentatiously elegant variation. He heightens class distinctions— how can people who “take in a flick,” “go to the movies,” “see a picture,” “catch a show,” and “screen a film” possibly have anything to say to each other? He underscores regional differences—can people who order “a hoagie,” “a grinder,” “a hero,” and “a sub” still break bread together? He numbs us with euphemisms, as we go from “the prime of our lives” through “senior citizenship,” until, as “golden agers” in our “twilight years,” we “pass away,” and nobody knows, or cares, that we died. A prude, he has so ensnared us in double entendre and circumlocution that such words as “bath,” “rest,” “lounge,” and “powder” have come to mean “evacuation.” He has done some of his best work through the morally anaesthetized offices of the Defense Department (formerly, the War Department). For instance, should the START (formerly, SALT) talks enter an inoperative mode, opening a window of critical vulnerability, you and I might be impacted with a first strike of such significant megatonnage as to be terminated with extreme prejudice (at acceptable levels, mind you). The Gnome Enclature is beloved by such creatures as the Pentagorgons who delight in having a wide variety of words to describe the unthinkable with the degree of complexity such concepts deserve. HISTORY: Gnome Enclatures delighted in the hostile polyglot nature of the first wave of European settlers, encouraging Dutch, French, Spanish, and English colonists to insist on the absolute primacy of their respective lingos. Each language survived, giving rise to endless regional squabbles and bickerings, and persist to this day— except for English, which finally ceased to be spoken in America during the Eisenhower administration. SPOTTER’S TIPS: The Gnome Enclature is to be found in the vicinity of speech writers, DJs, game show hosts, doctors, RNs, funeral hall directors, civil service union bosses, Mafia-based contractors, Federal boondogglers, social scientists, and ΝΕΑ grant specialists. He can be seen peeping out between the lines of columns written by William Safire, Edwin Newman, and other mavens of pop etymology
棲息地 難解な学問を論じる大
学の研究室, スラングのとびか
学の研究室,スラングのとびか
う貧しいスラム街のすさまじい
臭いのする溝のなか、 インテリ
といわれる人びとが集まるたば
この煙につつまれた安酒場な
ど,人びとを煙に巻いたり,退
屈させたり,うまく操縦するた
めにことばが使われるところに
は,いつでもこの妖精がはねま
わっている。
習性 この妖精は、ふたりの人
間が理解しあうことなく同じ話
題を論じるのにじゅうぶんなほ
どの同意語があるかどうか,つ
ねにチェックしている。
ひとりがトマトといい,もう
ひとりがトマトの学名 「ソラヌ
ムリオパーシクム」というの
はこの妖精のせいだ。 ことばの
精は意味のあいまいな同意語が
大好きで、 人にわざわざエレガ
ントだが不必要なほかのいいか
たをさせるようにする。
また、階層の分化をいっそう
はげしくする役目もになってい
る。 「メシを食う」 人と「食事
をする」人と 「お食事をいただ
く」 人とが親しく会話をかわす
ことができるだろうか?
婉曲話法を使って人を煙に巻
くのも、彼らのお得意だ。 人間
は 「中年」 以後, 「熟年」をへ
て,「壮年期」にはいり, 「た
そがれの日々」 を生き, 「逝っ
そがれの日々」を生き,「逝っ
てしまう」。 現実にその人が死
んだことなど, だれにもわから
ないし、 だれも気にしない。
お上品なこの妖精は,二重の
意味をもつ遠まわしないいかた
「お手洗」「化粧室」
も大好きだ。
「洗面所」などのことばが 「便
所」の意味をもつようになった
のも彼らのしわざだ。
歴史 出身国の異なるヨーロッ
パ人たちが最初にアメリカ大陸
妖精たち
に移住してきたとき,
は畏れおののくいっぽう、大よ
ろこびもした。 というのも, 異
言語の人種たちが敵対関係にあ
ったからだ。
ドイツ人やフランス人, スペ
イン人, イギリス人の植民者た
ちは,それぞれ自国の言語に絶
対的な優越感をもつように, 妖
精たちによって, たきつけられ
た。 けっきょく, 各母国語が生
きのび, 地域間のつまらない論
争をひき起こし, それはきょう
までつづいている。
私立探偵の情報 この妖精の姿
が見られるのは, つぎのような
人のいる地域だ 演説の原稿
書き,ディスクジョッキー, シ
ョーのホスト, 葬式の進行係,
医者・・・・・・。 有能なコラムニスト
が書いた記事の行間にも見つけ
ることができる。
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Habitat
University research rooms debating impenetrable academic theory, the reeking gutters of slang-filled slums, smoke-choked dive bars where intellectuals congregate — anywhere language is used to confuse, bore, or manipulate people, this sprite is bouncing around.
Behavior
This sprite constantly checks whether there are enough synonyms for two people to discuss the same topic without actually understanding each other.
When one person says “tomato” and the other says its Latin name Solanum lycopersicum — that’s this sprite’s doing. The word sprite loves synonyms with ambiguous meanings, and nudges people toward elegant but entirely unnecessary alternative expressions.
It also plays a role in deepening class divisions. Can someone who “grabs a bite” really have a comfortable conversation with someone who “dines” or someone who “takes supper”?
Euphemism is another specialty. After “middle age,” humans pass through “maturity,” enter their “prime years,” live through their “twilight days,” and finally “pass on.” Nobody can tell — or cares — that the person actually died.
This prim little sprite also loves double-meaning circumlocutions. Words like “powder room,” “restroom,” and “washroom” coming to mean “toilet” — all their handiwork.
History
When Europeans of different nationalities first emigrated to America, the sprites were simultaneously terrified and delighted — because the different language groups were hostile to one another. German, French, Spanish, and English colonists were each stirred up by the sprites to feel absolute superiority about their own native tongue. Each language survived, sparking petty regional squabbles that continue to this day.
Field Intelligence
This sprite can be spotted wherever the following people gather: speechwriters, DJs, talk show hosts, funeral officiants, doctors… It can also be found between the lines of articles written by skilled columnists.
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